


Glass Heart Hymn

by no_nutcracker



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Merlin is a Pendragon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-18
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-12 10:08:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28758576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/no_nutcracker/pseuds/no_nutcracker
Summary: Arthur wishes his father would have told him about Morgana's true parentage. Now it is too late to salvage anything between them.... but it is apparently not too late for one last secret to be uncovered.*Or, Merlin is Uther's third and last child.
Relationships: Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Morgana & Arthur Pendragon & Uther Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 20
Kudos: 106





	Glass Heart Hymn

**Author's Note:**

> title from the song 'Glass Heart Hymn' from Paper Route

'I wish you would have told me,' he says to the pale, frozen figure of his father.

Arthur knows that speaking to him is of no use. Gaius has said that his father has retreated in his own mind and will only leave it when he feels safe to.

If he wakes.

Yet, Arthur still comes daily to visit his father. And speak ~~with~~ to him.

It is the first time he admits the regrets he holds about how his father acted with him and his sister. He only wishes Uther would wake up and answer him;

Why did he keep the secret for so long? Was it because he feared to dishonor Arthur's mother's memory as well as Gorlois le Fay's? If it was then could Uther explain what he had thought he was doing, lying with his best friend's wife while his own has her back turned? Had Uther lied about anything else? What would he have done if he had learned earlier that Morgana has magic?

All those questions roaming in his head and torturing him night and day. Questions that will most likely never gets answers. It frustrates Arthur to no end. 

And still, this pale shadow of his father remains. Quiet. Unmoving. 

Unattainable.

'I wish,' Arthur starts. He sighs. 'There is no use to wish.'

Arthur rises from his chair, ready to leave, when he feels something holding him back. He turns to face his father. Uther his holding his arm and staring at him with despair.  
Arthur feels his heart lurch. It is the first time since they took Camelot back that his father has awoken from his comatose state, let alone been aware of his surroundings.

'I did not tell you everything.'

'Father?,' he croaks.

'Mor.' His father swallows heavily. 'Mor,' he repeats, his hand shaking on Arthur's arm.

Arthur hurriedly sits back on his chair. His presses his father's hand delicately. 'Yes, my sister.'

'I could not tell either of you. The throne, Arthur. The throne.'

'I know, father.'

A bastard is a threat to the rightful heir of the throne.

Yet, Arthur is pretty sure that if Morgana and he had known about her true heritage and if she had been allowed to be treated as the princess that she is, she would have had no reason to forcefully take the throne from them.

Or maybe she would have? She is the oldest after all, maybe she would have still felt slighted from not having her place on the throne. How could Arthur know? He never expected that Morgana would betray them by overthrowing Uther. Let alone crown herself Queen and hurt their people.

'I understand,' he lies, to reassure his father.

_I wish you would have told us._

'I could not reveal the truth to you,' Uther continues weakly. 

And how it hurts to see. Arthur has never considered his father weak before.

'Yet it cost us your sister. I can not repeat the same mistake.'

Arthur stares at his father in confusion. 'Father, I am not sure I understand. I already know about Morgana.'

Uther closes his eyes at her name. He swallows heavily then slowly shakes his head. 'Not Morgana.'

Arthur feels restless.

'A few years after you were born, I met someone. A tender woman who helped me in my grief after your mother passed away. And I beget her with a child.'

Arthur can literally feel his blood freeze in his veins. 'I have another sibling.'

'I could not tell you.'

 _No, of course not_ , he thinks bitterly. _Gods keep King Uther Pendragon from revealing the truth._

'If I could not tell you and your sister about her true heritage,' his father continues, 'I could not tell you about your youngest sibling either. It would not have been fair.'

Keeping the truth from them had not been fair either.

Arthur's ears are buzzing. 'How are they? Are they in Camelot? Do I know them?'

His father's features are still strained from exhaustion, his visage palid from sickness. His hold on his arm is getting weaker. And yet, Arthur can not read him anymore. 

'Father?'

Uther opens his mouth and breathes his servant's name. 

Arthur frowns. 'Merlin? Why are you calling for him? Do you want him to bring you something?' 

Arthur searches for the jar of water on his father's bedside table but finds it filled near the brim. There is a plate full of uneaten fruits next to it. Arthur does not see why his servant would need to be called. 

Except if his father was feeling worst.

Arthur gets closer to him in worry. 'Do you need Gaius? Is that it? I'm going to get Merlin to bring him in.' Arthur rises to his feet. However, his father's hold on him strenghtens and keeps him from leaving once again. 'Father?,' he repeats, more confused than ever.

His father is shaking his head. He is grimacing. 'No, Arthur. You do not understand.'

'What do you want me to understand? Father, what do you need Merlin for?'

His father stares at him wordlessly. Arthur stares back.

And then, the truth hits him all at once.

'Merlin?,' he exhales breathlessly.

His father nods.

Arthur tries to put the words together. 'Merlin is my brother.'

Uther gives another tiny nod. His shoulders relax. He frees Arthur from his grasp.

It feels to Arthur that the final anchor to reality that he had is lost to him. Nothing is left to keep him from losing himself.

Morgana. Merlin.

 _Merlin_.

Arthur does not breath a word of this to anyone. 

Least of all Merlin.

He wishes he could speak to Merlin.

'You had Merlin thrown into the dungeons more than once, father.'

Predictably, Uther stays unresponsive.

'If you knew all this time that he was your son, why did you? Why did you threaten him with execution? Why did you make him my servant?'

His father does not talk to him anymore. Gaius says that the pain from Morgana's betrayal has broken him. That he can only find solace in his own mind. He says that Arthur should not expect Uther to break from his apathy anymore.

Arthur feels that it is a convenient way for Uther to avoid facing the consequences of his many lies.

'What am i supposed to do?'

Arthur choses to go to Gaius. 

Gaius has always been closed to his father. He kept most of the man's secrets. Arthur would be surprised if Gaius had not known of Morgana's heritage. He does not know if Gaius knows about Merlin's. And in regards of how closed the two men are, Arthur guesses that if Gaius knew about it, he would have told his ward. And yet, no matter Gaius's feelings for Merlin, his first loyalty is to his king. If Uther has sworn his councilor to secrecy, Gaius would be bound to his promise. 

Arthur does not know. It seems like he does not know anything anymore.

'What do you know about Merlin's father, Gaius?'

The physician looks at him with surprise and not an ounce of suspicion. 'Sire?'

'Merlin has been talking about his mother. Hunith. Who I met. Lovely woman,' he rambles awkwardly. Probably a habit he picked from Merlin. 

Gaius raises a dubious eyebrow. Thankfully not the one that screams no-nonsense.

Arthur coughs politely to hide his embarrassament. He is pretty sure Gaius can see throught it anyway. 'I have remarked that Merlin never talks about his father. It made me curious.'

Gaius' eyes, which had only held surprise and curiosity until now, take on a softer hue. He must be thinking that with his father out of commission, Arthur is trying to relate to his ward. Because Arthur is closed to Merlin.

The statement almost makes him want to laugh. Of course, Arthur is closed to Merlin. How could he not be? Merlin is... _Merlin_. He is kind, and a bit simple, and quite perceptive, and a clumsy oaf, and a 'lover' as Morgana once called him (and dear gods, Arthur really hopes nothing happened between those two before Morgana's first disappearance with Morgause and **what his father had been thinking, leaving them all in the dark?!** ). The man does not care about things as important as titles and ranks. He always treats Arthur like an equal. And like a friend he would be happy to follow until the end of the earth. For gods' sake, they faced a dragon together. Merlin believes in equality and justice, like Arthur does. Merlin believes in true love and marriage for love, something that a prince like Arthur should not entertain and yet finds himself agreeing with. Merlin... Merlin is a riddle.

And apparently, Merlin is his brother.

A knowledge that, judging by Gaius's reaction, is not shared by anyone but the King and Arthur. And Merlin's mother. Obviously. 

Oh gods. Hunith. Somehow Arthur totally forgot about her. What must have she been thinking when she saw her only son and Arthur together in her home? 

Why had not she told them what she knew?

Gaius's words pull him from his wandering thoughts. 'I do not know much about Merlin's father, sire. My sister did not tell me about him.'

Arthur stills.

'You would have more chance in talking about it with Merlin.'

Arthur levels a hand between them, stopping the physician's words. 'What do you mean: sister?,' he asks, hollow.

Gaius stares uncomprehendingly at him. 'Hunith is my younger sister.'

'Which makes Merlin your nephew,' Arthur resumes flatly.

Gaius stares at him flummoxed. 'Yes, of course.'

...Even better. Did the King knew about his lover's relation to his physician before he 'beget her with child' and left her to raise a child alone?! In an enemy's kindgom, no less??! 

Arthur is beyond frustrated and rightfully angry. The fact that he can not even hope for answers from his father only serves to make him more furious.

What is Arthur supposed to do with the knowledge?

By all rights, he should tell Merlin. Had he not been cursing his father earlier for keeping the knowledge of his sister's parentage from them? He should also thank Merlin from his service and let him be only Gaius' physician. He may also give him a title. Maybe some land in Camelot. In truth, Arthur can not imagine Merlin with a land. He is pretty sure Merlin would not know what to do with it. Nor how to be a noble. Or how to treat fellow nobles with respect.

_And who's fault is that?_

But it would be the right thing to do.

However, revealing Merlin's true parentage to Camelot -to the world- can not be seen as a good thing. Not when one bastard brought war to their doorstep, succeded on taking the throne and massacred hundreds of people in the space of a week. Another 'youthful mistake' from the King won't be received well by the people nor by the Court.

How would Arthur be able to protect Merlin from the constant distrust, fear and anger that the truth would bring? He is not even taking the assassination attempts into account. No one will want to let another bastard live, not when one already wrought destruction to the Kingdom.

'Gaius needs herbs for new preparations. I will be gone for the rest of the day. I should be back by the evening. Don't worry, I'll bring Lancelot with me. In the meantime, George will take care of my chores.' Merlin grins playfully. 'I'm sure you will be pleased.'

How can Arthur keep the truth from Merlin? Arthur never lies to him. He never keeps secrets from him. Because Merlin is not just his servant.

'Arthur?,' Merlin waves a hand in front of his face. Arthur bats his hand away distractedly. 'Have you listened to me?'

Merlin is Arthur's _friend_. 

'Arthur,' Merlin groans. 'Trying to ignore me is not going to change anything. Gaius needs me which means that I can not fulfill my chores. You will have to make do with George.'

Merlin is the only friend Arthur has. Arthur can not in good conscience keeps that one life-changing secret from him.

'Arthur? Are you alright?'

'I will protect you,' he swears.

Merlin blinks in confusion. 'Alright,' he drawls. 'You will protect me,' he nods. 'From what, exactly?,' he ends, bemused.

'Anything.'

Arthur already lost Morgana. Arthur is losing his father. There is no way he is going to lose Merlin as well.


End file.
